Is Self-reliance more Important than Mutual Encouragement?

Why do we even need to ask the question?

In the western world we’ve made a virtue of independence, self-reliance, and self-sufficiency. In some ways these virtues have served us well by enabling us to avoid getting stuck in a rut dug by clinging to out-moded cultural mores. They help many to launch out into life without clinging to their parents. They have energized explorers and inventors.

But we are not meant to live as independent islands of self-reliance. For many of us, Christmas has again demonstrated to us the blessing of families. For me, at this advanced stage of life, my children and grandchildren have often been there when I needed their help.

And yet, we often run into this misplaced spirit of independence, especially in those who have lived productive lives but now come to an age when receiving help is irksome. We have a friend who needs help very badly, but every time we try to offer help, she feels the need to pay for it in some way. It’s as if she cannot conceive of the concept of grace, “freely you have received, freely give.” She seems to avoid asking her kids for help.

This concept of giving and receiving grace is meant to permeate the church. Let me apply this concept in what may seem a strange way, by asking why so many professing Christians act as if they are independent islands of self-reliance? Are individual Christians meant to be isolated? Let’s take the example of one of the strongest Christians we read about in the New Testament and see what he says.

In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul sent Tychicus to the church so that “you may know how we are [and what I am doing] and that he may encourage you” (Eph. 6:21,22). Paul wanted news of the Ephesians so he could be encouraged and so they, in turn, could be encouraged.

In his letter to the Philippians, Paul wrote, “I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I receive news about you…Epaproditis…he longs for you also and is distressed because you heard he was ill…so that you may be glad” (See Phil. 2: 19-30) Paul recognized his need to be cheered by news from that church—and for them to be encouraged.

In writing to the Colossians, Paul wrote, “Tychicus…a dear brother, a faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord. I am sending him to you for the express purpose that you may know about our circumstances and that he may encourage your hearts…with Onesimus…they will tell you everything that is happening here” (Col. 4:7-9).

Paul goes on to describe how, “My fellow prisoner Aristarchus” is being sent after being a comfort to him as one who is “wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured…he is working hard for you” Then he mentions Luke, the doctor and others while asking that this letter be read also in Laodicea. (See Col. 4:10-17.)

Paul spent a whole chapter of Romans (16) listing dozens of helpers. If Paul needed co-workers, if Paul needed encouragement from other believers, who are we to think that we don’t? The church is meant to be, not only a place of worship, but a place where we gather with other believers to imbibe hope and joy and love from our brothers and sisters. God never meant us to be islands!

Isolated or connected? Hearing about how God is dealing with one another or the silence of living alone or only with our spouse? Encouragement from each other or stolid “stiff upper lip,” “I don’t need anyone,” “I’ve got it all together?” The answer is self-evident unless we are blinded by some exalted opinion of ourselves.

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Heb. 10: 24,25).

The Further We Drift from the Christian Faith, the Needier We Become – Essential Belief, #43

Our culture indoctrinates us to say, we are independent, self-reliant men and women. And if by chance we do have needs there is always a doctor or psychiatrist or philosopher or beer-buddy to point us to help—or simply commiserate.

The foundations of western civilization tell us different. They go back, back, back to the Man of Galilee, Jesus of Nazareth who came because we were needy, because the best that human wisdom affords was an abysmal attempt to satisfy our needs. I’m not talking about warmth, shelter, and food which many civilizations have done a commendable, though flawed, job in providing.

John Stott (at 88) writing about the neediest among us comments; “I sometimes hear old people, including Christian people who should know better say, ‘I don’t want to be a burden to anyone else. I’m happy to carry on living so long as I can look after myself, but as soon as I become a burden I would rather die.’ But this is wrong. We are all designed to be a burden to others. You are designed to be a burden to me, and I am designed to be a burden to you. And the life of the family, including the life of the local church family, should be one of ‘mutual burdensomeness.’ ‘Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ’ (Galatians 6:2)” — John Stott, The Radical Disciple: Some Neglected Aspects of Our Calling

As Stott points out there is something in us that resists admitting our neediness. Not only is the Christian faith designed by God to help us bear one another’s burdens, at it’s root it is a cry to enter God’s presence through the wicket gate of confession and repentance for our sins—admitting our ultimate neediness. Pride keeps us from admitting our sinfulness, which is the most fundamental of our needs. “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). It may not only keep us from seeking practical help, but it may keep us from embracing God’s need-meeting Saviour. Who? Jesus Christ, the Lord, who has been eternally appointed by God to be mankind’s prophet, priest, and king, fulfilling three offices that address humanity’s fundamental needs.

Jesus is the prophet we need because we are ignorant of eternal truth and the operation of God in the beginning and continuing operation of our universe. We need a divine teacher, Jesus, to dispel our ignorance. We operate as self-centered beings inventing amazing machines but blasé about ultimate questions. Indeed, we are—dare I say it—wilfully stupid. We have no idea about what is beyond the grave. We march blithely toward our hellish destiny with seldom a care. Then Jesus, the Prophet, calls us to stop, listen, and believe the gospel. “The Word [God’s communication] became flesh and made his dwelling among us…No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, [Jesus, the Son of God] who is at the Father’s side, has made him known” (John 1:14,18). “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:6). Listen and believe.

Jesus is the priest, the mediator between Heaven and earth. He shed his blood to secure our salvation. Only he can reconcile us to God through pleading his crossly sacrifice before the Father in order to blot out our guilt. Only he can render us acceptable to God. As our priest he continues to intercede for us. “Christ came as high priest…He did not enter by means of the blood of goats and calves; but he entered the Most Holy Place once for all by his own blood, having obtained eternal redemption” (Heb. 9:11, 12). “Because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. Therefore, he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them” (Heb. 7:24,25).

Jesus Christ is King, the only one powerful and insightful enough to rescue us from our spiritual adversaries including that arch enemy, the devil. Do we realize that, “your enemy, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8)? As the 1689 confession states, “We need his kingly office to convince, subdue, draw, sustain, deliver and preserve us, until we finally enter his heavenly kingdom. He came proclaiming the kingdom of God. The New Testament ends declaring, “He is Lord of Lord and King of Kings” (Rev. 17:14).

As prophet he teaches us about our spiritual need of rescue. As priest he rescues us through his blood and continues to intercede for our transformation. As King he guides, sustains, and protects until he calls us home to enjoy the blessings of His kingdom.